I was sound asleep having a dream about (what else?) having my blood tested at the hospital. Suddenly, I felt a rather insistent poke. Another poke. Another poke. I opened my eyes. Without my glasses on, I could barely make out CJ standing over me. He said, "Mom, I made you something."
Breakfast in bed? Wow! What a sweet kid! I am a lucky mommy....
I sat up...still no glasses....and reached out to get the bowl of what I expected to be cereal from him.
The bowl was warm.
A bit confused, I peered into the bowl. Again, since I didn't have my glasses on yet, this really was a pointless gesture. I saw....something....no idea what it was... Then it hit me! Oatmeal! He must've made oatmeal!!! Why didn't I think of it before??
So, again without glasses, (and if I'm honest...a little worried) I picked up the spoon, scooped up a big glob, and with a smile on my face, took a big bite of something that was definitely NOT oatmeal.
"Mmmmmmmmm" was all I could manage as I tried not to spit it out. My smile was glued on my face as I chewed something. This is not what I was expecting.
CJ, very pleased with himself, announced, "It's chicken soup! It's my own recipe!" Ah, that explains it...
I was going to ask him what his recipe consisted of when he darted out of the room. I would have stopped him, but I was still chewing. Yes, chewing.
I took a closer look into the bowl. What appeared to be condensed Campbell's Homestyle Chicken Noodle Soup made somewhat of a lump in the bowl. I've heard of chunky soup, but this is ridiculous.....
I stirred it up for a bit better consistency, and had just decided that I *might* need to add a little water, when the door popped open again.
CJ was standing there with another bowl. Oh no.
"This is for Kim," said CJ. Then I remembered that Kim was in bed with us. She wasn't feeling well last night, so slept with us. Hmm....not sure if this was going to make her feel better or not....
"Kim, I made you soup," CJ said. As Kim rolled over, a bit dazed, I couldn't help but wonder how Mike was sleeping through all of this.
Kim sat up and said, "Hmmm?"
I said, "Kim, CJ made you some soup." As I looked at her, I tried to send her telepathic messages to prepare herself for what was coming her way. It didn't work.
CJ handed her the bowl and said proudly, "It's vegetable soup!" Kim raised her eyebrows a bit, but graciously accepted the bowl. My brief thought was "ut oh." Condensed vegetable soup...with no water added.... That can't be good....
Kim, the little trooper, looked up at me for direction. I said, "I'm eating mine...yummmmm...." What else could I say? CJ was standing right there with an expectant look on his face.
Kim picked up the spoon and bravely took a bite. Her response was the same as mine had been. "Mmmmmmm......" CJ smiled a huge smile, turned, and took off out the door.
Kim looked at me and said, "I don't think this is vegetable soup."
I looked into her bowl....still with no glasses....and said, "Huh. You might be right."
I decided at this point that it was time to wake Dad. After all, he was next in line...
Several pokes later, Mike finally roused. He took off his CPAP machine and I said, "Prepare yourself. CJ's making us breakfast in bed."
His naive response was, "Oh, that's nice."
"You think so?"
He looked at me questioningly, just as CJ came into the room.
"Here Daddy! Soup for you!" CJ beamed with pride. I had a flashback to Seinfeld and the episode with the Soup Nazi.
Mike looked at him with that look of confusion that was becoming very popular this morning. Again, I tried to send him a telepathic warning. I could tell by the concerned look on his face that the warning had been received.
CJ stood there, waiting for his Dad to take the first bite. Mike gingerly picked up the spoon, put the "soup" into his mouth and said, the now famous response, "Mmmmmmm." Frozen smile.
CJ beamed. "It's Chicken and Rice!" He came over to my side of the bed and said, "Is it good?"
I said, "Oh yes! It's the best soup I've ever had for breakfast!" Kim nodded in agreement. Mike just sat there with his mouth tightly shut and staring at his bowl.
CJ said, "It was my own recipe. A little soup....a little water...stir it up." I must admit that I was surprised that there was *any* water involved in his "recipe." Then he said, "I got burned. A little bit." I asked him if he was okay.
He said, "Yeah. I cooked yours for ten seconds, Kim's for ten seconds, and then Dad's for ten seconds. Yours and Kim's was warm, but Dad's was hot. It sort of exploded on my foot."
He turned to leave. As he got to the door, he turned and said, "Oh, by the way, we're running low on soup."
CJ left. The three of us sat in bed. Mike looked at me and said, "What is this?"
Kim said, "Mine's supposed to be vegetable soup, but it's not."
I told them both that I believe he opened cans of condensed soup and didn't add the water. Or at least not enough. Kim told us that she thought hers was chicken and rice soup, too. Mike said it was the first soup he'd ever had to chew.
We ate our soup in silence. Well, except for the laughing. And the snickering. We tried to keep it quiet so we didn't hurt CJ's feelings.
Mike said, "My soup isn't hot enough." I looked at him and told him that his soup must've been warmer than ours was....CJ burned himself on Mike's soup. Mike said that he didn't know how. I commented that my soup was slightly warm. Kim very matter-of-factly said, "Mine is cold."
Oh, my. We're the three bears. CJ is Goldilocks. Talk about a twisted nursery rhyme.
Just then, the door opened again. CJ was standing there with a cup.
"I made you something to drink," he said. At first, I was relieved. Something to wash it down with. Then it hit me that he said that he "made" us something. Oh, no.
"What is it, CJ?" I cautiously reached for the cup.
"It's a secret recipe!" Oh no.
I looked into the cup, thinking I really need to put on my glasses. It looked like orange juice. Except maybe a little creamy looking. That can't be good. Milk and orange juice? Surely not. Even CJ isn't *that* special....
I decided to take one for the team. I slowly sipped the drink. The tartness was a bit shocking. Thankfully, I had only sipped.
By now, you all know the proper response. Say it with me: "Mmmmmmm."
I swallowed. I looked at CJ, who was bursting with pride, and asked, "How did you make your secret recipe?"
"It's a secret! Now I'm gonna go get some for Dad." Mike went pale.
When he left, I looked at Kim. I wanted to save her. She's my little girl. Her Dad and I would have to sacrifice ourselves for her.
"Kim, honey....go get ready for church. Hurry." We didn't need to tell her twice. She shot out the door.
I decided that it was time to be sneaky. I grabbed my cup that had contained Crystal Light in it and poured CJ's concoction into that cup. I had barely finished when CJ opened the door carrying....I didn't know what he was carrying.
He said, "I'm gonna make Dad's here so you can see the recipe." Well, at least we'll know what went into it.
He poured half a glass of orange pineapple juice. Safe so far. Then he pulled out the canister of Crystal Light. Ut-oh. He opened it and took out one of the little tubs of powder. We generally mix that little tub up with two quarts of water. CJ, however, poured the entire thing into the eight ounce cup that had about 4 ounces of orange pineapple juice in it. Well, that explained the tartness.
He then said, "Now I'll add some water." He went to the bathroom, added about two ounces of water, and brought it back to Dad.
Dad looked at me as if to say "I love you. Remember me." He took a sip. "Mmmmmmm......" CJ beamed again.
Mike, feeling generous, asked CJ if he wanted some. I thought, oh no....now CJ will realize that he messed up.
CJ looked at Mike with one eyebrow raised. "Are you kidding? You two are my taste testers. I didn't know if that stuff would kill me or not!"
With that, he left the room.
Who needs coffee???? We have CJ.......
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